Stop with the macramé, bitches

Grelotredstamina

I live in a GLBT nexus here in the Pioneer Valley and I love the diversity.

Public same sex kissing and afffection is eye candy, you don’t find most places.

If it wasn’t for my repressive Catholic upbringing I may have even been bi-sexual, by now. Who knows?

I love freedom of expression and I embrace diversity.

That said, one thing I hate is when your freedom of expression interferes with my freedom to fucking breathe.

You granola earthy-crunchy-hemp-lovin’ bitches deciding to make an art project and braid your fucking armpit hair into some sort of macramé thing, needs to stop.

Can you not smell yourself?

I mean when you have a colony of circus fleas taking up residence in your armpit hair, there’s something wrong.

Very wrong.

Get acquainted with a razor and cut that bush back.

And while you’re at it, get a bar of soap and bathe, ’cause ya smell, and it aint good.

I’m not sure if it’s your diet of tofu and garlic. It must be the garlic…… are you drinking garlic frappes? are you trying to ward off vampires? ’cause girl your warding off everyone around you.  Hell it’s causing a gag reflex when I even sit next to you.   How does your mate even screw you? it’s coming out your pores so freakin’ bad.   Do you know people can’t even stand next to you ? how can you even land a date? let’s start there. Unless you’re dating some freak like yourself.  Honestly, one would have to be in such a dope induced haze, not to sniff you and not notice the smell.

And it’s not just the garlic, that stink….. its intermingled with sweat and sex that hasn’t been washed off in weeks……

In 6 months Calvin Klein will come up with a perfume called  HEMPSexGarlique it’ll  fly off the shelves to all the huppies who will buy it don’t cha know.  I think it’s made from crushed hemp seeds and smegma.   Huppies, those interesting combination of hippies and yuppies….

Remember.  Soap.  It’s not just for holidays anymore.

2 responses to “Stop with the macramé, bitches

Go ahead, make my day :)

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