I have always been sort of a tomboy, I guess.
Doesn’t make for easy dating experience.
Especially first dates.
“So what interests you Lexi?” some date will ask.
“Guns” I say, “as in going to a firing range.” ( Which for me would be like an ideal first date) I go on “watching serial killer movies and thrillers, yanno that sort of thing.” I would continue responding to the question, ” studying homicide investigations and the criminal mind, psychopathology overall is of huge interest to me.” Driving my car really fast down the free way, racing with another car would be ideal but it’s illegal. Yanno shit like that. I would love to learn to horse-back ride someday.”
But when you tell the truth, you don’t get a second date.
Because it’s not feminine. I guess men are looking for June Cleaver with the apron strings and shit. Men don’t want a chick who digs manly things. But that’s not me. I don’t like to cook, sew, bake, quilt, crochet and all that crap. I don’t know why. I just don’t.
I even feel out-of-place wearing high heels. First off it’s hard walking in them and I’ll be honest, they’re uncomfortable as fuck to wear. I only do it at the request of the person I have been with, but even then I hate it.
I DO like getting all dolled up for the right man, but it’s only as a means to an end. It’s because of the effect it has on him. I do it despite hating it because I know it turns him on. But honestly, I will never, and yes I will use the word never, EVER, wear my nails some porno length again for a man. They look like claws and it’s just not me. I hated it. I think it looks nasty. I HATE wearing nail polish, all the upkeep it’s a lot of bullshit. Maybe that makes me a tomboy? who knows reader, you will have to reach your own conclusions.
Maybe it will render me living alone for rest of my life. But I can promise you it won’t be me living with a bunch of cats (sorry cat lovers) I just don’t dig cats.
But I will be authentic from here on in. I can’t fake being some cupey doll for someone else. It takes too much energy trying to pretend I”m something I am not. And it looks like I am tomboy-ish.
Oh well, there it is. They say there’s someone for everyone out there. After I get my shit straight in a few years who knows. Maybe my Higher Power will put a man in my life who likes tomboy-ish women?