(stock image- not mine)

When a person puts down their drug of choice, they enter withdrawal.

Sometimes the drug is a chemical like alcohol, cocaine, heroin, nicotine.

Other times the drug may be a behavior like gambling, compulsive shopping, sex-addiction, anorexia, or relationships.

In my case, it is the latter.

Codependency is a form of addiction and is complex.  The codependent has feelings of love for their person of affection, but also has hyper-dependency on that person which is extremely unhealthy and maladaptive.  Sifting that out and sorting out how much is what, takes time and a lot of work.  But the codependent does need to go through withdrawal.  A period where they have no contact (NC) with their partner or person has become their drug of choice.  That person, has become what the codependent uses as a salve to escape from pain and uncomfortable feelings, because they lack the ability to self-soothe.    This usually is because most codependent come from trauma and denied the basic love and care they needed to learn how to self-soothe.  So they turn to alcohol and drugs and eventually people/relationship(s) to feel better/okay.

A Recovery Partner passed this along to me last night and it blew me away because it totally spoke to a deep place within me when I heard it.


The experience is  you… The experience is you a part of you which has been trying to surface for a long time.  You have been avoiding or postponing this pain for a long time now, yet you have never been able to lastingly outrun it.  You need to go through withdrawal in order to become a whole person.  You need to meet your self.  Behind the terror of what you fear, withdrawal contains the seeds of your wholeness.  It must be experienced for you to realize, or make real, that potential for you and your life which has been stored there for so long.

About Lexicon Lover

Read all about my journey (and musings) of recovery from both complex childhood trauma and incest, it’s manifestation in my adult life through maladaptive behaviors like BDSM, self-injury, eating disorder, substance abuse and toxic relationships; one with whom was a Narcissistic Sociopath. View all posts by Lexicon Lover

4 responses to “Withdrawal

  • Imperfect

    My withdrawal was intense. If you are like me, prepare for it to get a lot worse before it gets better (sorry). I feel like after nearly six months I am finally nearing the end of it. Even though withdrawal was so rough, I’m truly grateful for it now. Knowing that I would have to go through it all over again if I acted out is probably the main reason I haven’t contacted my qualifier in so long.

    When I was in intense withdrawal I used to read Chapter 5 in the basic text over and over. Every time I got something new out of it. It also helped me to do something physical, like yoga or working out.


    • lexiconlover

      You have a lot of widsom. You are correct. The pink cloud is already gone. Now the proverbial shit is hitting the fan for me. Even though as I type this I have 17 days of NC, I am feeling in the throws of withdrawal. An RP told me to keep reading Ch 5 over and over again. Which I am doing. Receiving what I did 2 days ago was a huge set back. No matter. I will work through this with my HP, you, and the rest of the fellowship. God bless you girlfriend~ xo


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