Fairytales don’t exist

There’s no such thing as love at first sight.

maybe lust at first sight.

infatuation at first sight.

endorphin, adrenaline, oxytocin rush at first sight………

but that other bullshit that the Hallmark greeting card industry perpetuates……

just doesn’t exist.

****

but I bought into it at such a young age.

from the very first fairy tales I read.

Snow White being awakened by her Prince Charming’s kiss.

Rapunzel being rescued by some valiant knight on a steed at the tower.

and how can we forget Cinderella, suffering at the hands of unspeakable humiliation and abuse awaiting rescue by a wealthy, handsome Prince, who only saw her for what like five minutes at a dance? Pfffftt c’mon.

******

Yet I fell for it hook line and sinker, like so many other girls do.  And our culture perpetuates it with movies like Pretty Woman, the same storyline, a modern version of Cinderella.  but it’s just not reality is it.

and for those of us who come from neglect and trauma, we are just hoping that we will find that love we so desperately didn’t get in that other.

the love, attention and affection that we were denied as children.

which, is a pretty goddamn normal thing to want…..yet an impossible  expectation to have of another person.

One person can not fill such a gaping void.

****

how then?  how to learn to give oneself that thing.   I have no fucking clue.

People talk about finding a Higher Power, God,  to fulfil this and intellectually I get it, makes total sense.

but at the end of the day there’s just a total fucking disconnect.

I can’t speak for others, but for me? I really need a God with skin.

12 responses to “Fairytales don’t exist

  1. Ah yes, the good ol’ Disney myth. It’s fucked up generations of females.

    My definition of love has completely changed in the past couple of years (after lots of work). I realized that love is something you seek to give, not something you seek to get. Now days my life is full of love and I’m so grateful for it.

    I know you talked about an interest in Buddhism at one point. Have you ever looked into a Loving Kindness, or Metta meditation practice?

    Like

      • I don’t know all that much about it myself, so don’t want to give you any wrong information.

        When I did it at a workshop, we closed our eyes and envisioned someone we cared for deeply. Envisioned engulfing them in a healing light and, in our minds, showering them with love, happiness, blessings, etc. Then we pictured someone that was familiar to us, like the barista we buy coffee from every morning, or our postman, but not someone we had any kind of relationship with, and did the same thing. Next we pictured someone we had a challenging relationship with and did the same thing. Then we pictured ourselves, then every living creature in the world.

        That explanation is probably a huge bastardization of what the process really is, but I’m sure there is plenty info online.

        Like

  2. Yeah, but you never heard the end of those fairy tales. The Old Woman in the Shoe was Cinderella 15 yrs later because that prince easier a horny toad that refused to wear a condom
    And old Mother Hubbard whose cupboards were bare? Well that is Snow White after 10 years with her “prince” , the narcissistic bastard kept all those dwarfs around to tell him how great he was and keep Snow White occupied while he went around screwing the ugly step sisters of Cinderella. The dwarfs ate all the food and of course the prince was only
    a prince in his own mind and never held a job down for more than a moor two so they were always hungry.
    Not to mention the “wolf” (the prince once his mask came off) who blew the pigs house down; was chasing around poor Little Red Robin and his cousin Willie Coyote was chasing the road runner….oh wait…..no…..forget that part.
    Anyway, things were not so great.back then either, there was child neglect, poverty, stockers, and witches that tried to trick little children to climb in the oven.
    Seriously though, my faith in God and happily ever after has been tested and failed. I just did a post about this today actually. How I used to get solace from “leaving it in God’s hands” and it just isn’t there any more.

    JC cured me of believing in fairy tails.
    Good post!
    Hugs
    Carrie

    Like

      • Glad you got a laugh! I didn’t mean to make light of what you were saying, well yes I guess I was or I wouldn’t have done it. But I DO know what you are saying and I personally struggle with “God”, I think I believe in a higher power but shit I like tangibles yet I believe I have seen miracles happen. Hell don’t ask me! As for the loving yourself and no one being able to fill that gap. I may not have had a great childhood but I didn’t feel unloved so I don’t have a gaping hole there. We all need to feel loved though and lately I haven’t felt it from anyone close to me, like my mom, brother, etc and that is a very lonely feeling. I don’t mind being alone, but that is different then being lonely. I love being in love but I am ok to not have a man in my life but when you don’t have the love of family its really hard to remain positive, the love of family and friends is what will get you through those times when you don’t have romantic love. For me I go out and do nice things for people, random acts of kindness if you will. It gives me the warm fuzzies. I am kinda with Imperfect on this one. I realized with JC that I was missing loving him more than missing him loving me because he hadn’t been loving towards me in a long time. Hmm.
        For someone without an answer I sure ended up with alot of words.
        Anyway
        I love ya Lexi
        Carrie

        Like

      • Carrie,
        My childhood left deep wounds. I know that is it is my responsibility to fix those wounds though.
        Still, I think it IS a basic need to feel loved….seperating out what is a NORMAL healthy need to be
        loved from a need to fill a gaping hole left from abuse and neglect gets hairy for me.
        You touch my heart with your writing. You are so honest and unpretentious. funny too.

        xoxo
        Lexi

        Like

      • Lexi, thank you for that; you have no idea how much it means to me to hear my writing touches someone.
        You are an inspiration for me to take the chance and put myself out there because you always write so raw and honest.
        You don’t realize how special you are. I wish there was some way to prove it to you.
        Hugs
        Carrie

        Like

  3. A VERY relatable post…
    I have actually never LOVED in my whole life – not my Mother (who suicided when I was 6, though I cherish her, forgive her, cast spiritual love in her direction, only don’t ‘love’ her here now today) – not my sisters, oh so much difficulty there – not my father – damage, damage, damage…..

    But when my son was born, forgive, but I dare say it was love at first inkling. When he was in my womb I felt destined to love him – destined to be his parent, & he was destined to be my child. Yes, I dare say, it was love – actual love. Not a single human had drawn that emotion of utter devotion/stand by you/guide you/show you my way until you know your way-ness.

    Between adults though, now, I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe there, in a lot of media influence, coupled with ‘wish could be’….

    Like

    • wordsfallfrommyeyes,

      thank you for your comment, I also believe between a mother and a child there can be such a profound love that exists……..
      thanks for that reminder; and prospective :–)

      Lexi

      Like

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