Of Mice and Monsters X


Several years after I was out of the relationship with my ex, my mother received a phone call from a detective in Boston wanting to know if I was alive.

My mom told him that I was.  He asked when the last time we had spoken.  She had told him it was about a week prior.  He explained that he needed confirmation from me that I was indeed alive and to contact him at the phone number he provided.  He explained that my ex had tried to developed a photograph at a local pharmacy which depicted a naked woman hanging from a tree by her wrists, bound, blind-folded, ball-gagged, and severely beaten.   He claimed that the woman in the photo was me.

My mother was of course shocked but told me to call the detective.  I did not believe it was the cops, I thought it may have been him posing as a police officer.  Instead, I called the police department’s main number myself and asked for said detective.  The story checked out.   I was asked to come down to the police station to verify who I was, and that I was alive.

I took the ride and met the detective.  He showed me the photo and I verified my identity.  He asked me if what happened in the photo was consensual.  I said that it was.   The detective seemed taken aback.    I did tell him at that time I wanted the photo destroyed and that was confused to me as to why my ex had been developing it in the first place since it had been years since we had split up.

The officer assured me that he would make sure he had put the fear of God in my ex about distributing a photo like this and the implications it would have for him if he didn’t destroy it.

As to why my ex had kept it all those years?  Like many Sociopaths, particularly those who are sexual sadists, most acquire trophies from their victims.  This photo of me may be a trophy of his handiwork.  He can re-live that day over and over again by looking at it.

That was the last I heard of him until two months ago when I received a Facebook friends request, which I promptly deleted.

I often read other blogs here on WordPress of both victims of Narcissism as well as a few Narcissists themselves.  I have been watching Sam Vatkin’s videos on YouTube for years. I also have been watching Richard Grannon on YouTube for near as long as well.

It would seem that I am doing a good job of staying no contact, despite the two hoovers he sent my way.   One came 1.5 years after he discarded me, the other five years later.   I am left with a morbid curiosity as to why he ever hoovered me so far out after discarding me.   I may well never know.

What I do know is that there is life after a Narcissistic Sociopath.   I eventually did go on to meet a new guy.   It’s only when one door closes they say that another can open.

About Lexicon Lover

Read all about my journey (and musings) of recovery from both complex childhood trauma and incest, it’s manifestation in my adult life through maladaptive behaviors like BDSM, self-injury, eating disorder, substance abuse and toxic relationships; one with whom was a Narcissistic Sociopath. View all posts by Lexicon Lover

2 responses to “Of Mice and Monsters X

  • Carrie Reimer

    I think they hoover not so much because they can’t get over us but more in an abstract, in passing, sort of way. Like a “I am bored, who can I fuck with/up” sort of way. Unless of course you have done something ungiveable like expose him for what he is and then he will not rest until he destroys you.
    Their victims are possessions and they like to reminisce and embellish, especially with a new woman they are molding into their next victim. They are lacking in all feelings, not just empathy; they feel nothing as intently as a normal person. That is why they have to live on the edge, legally, sexually, life and death, and in their relationships.
    Very few things a narc/psychopath does are an accident. A few posts back when you mentioned finding the picture of the woman bruised and beaten; I doubt it was by accident. My gut reaction and again now with the pic of you surfacing is, he wanted you to find the picture. A relationship with a narc is a constant test of how much will you take, how far can he push you, where is your breaking point?
    I think he probably keeps pics of his victims for 2 reasons, 1. For the new woman to find and see her reaction. How likely she is to go along with it once she sees another woman gave him that. How much will she sacrifice for him? It is triangulation, getting the new woman to do the “pick me” dance.
    2. The pics are “trophies”. I was a little surprised the first time my ex showed me his photo albums, I thought it was strange that instead of having albums like most people; arranged cronologically. His albums were one with pics of every guitar he ever owned, another one was all the vehicles he had ever owned and another one was all the women he had dated. All the things he had “owned” categorized.
    He also kept in contact with every woman he had ever dated. He might go years without contacting them. When his grandmother died and he had to go back to his home town for her funeral he contacted the ex he had dumped by moving away and never calling her again.
    He told her how he had always loved her, missed her and how sorry he was. She lent him her car while he was there, picked him up from the airport, and was expecting this great romantic reunion and he didn’t have the time of day for her. He laughed about it in his journal.
    He knew he was going to be in town anyway, might as well fuck her up while he was there.
    If you don’t take the bait then they try to get to you other ways, slander the victim, get them fired, embarrass them by having a compromising photo appear?
    Great post!


  • lexiconlover

    Actually they do have feelings I have read, from a Narcissist himself, just not the kind we would hope for the warm gooey lovey dovey sort. Read on:


    Liked by 1 person

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