Running from myself

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Have you ever experienced so much emotional pain and misery that you feel like you are bleeding from the inside out? That you are willing to just say a silent  goodbye to your family, job, home, belongings, everything?  To take to the road and just drive away and leave it all behind?

It’s to difficult to believe these thoughts have crossed my mind.  At the same time I just want to escape the stress and pain.  It’s been so long since I’ve truly laughed or felt a sense of peace and joy.   The closest I’ve come is when I’m immersed in nature.

Nature never judges.  Nature’s beauty, it  never lets me down.   Yet, there is something missing still, even there.

There is something missing in my life.  There is a hole inside my heart from long ago, that has never mended, that needs to still heal.   All the wounds that have been layered over, have further destroyed me.

Now I just want to run.  Run until I can’t find myself anymore.

 

 

About Lexicon Lover


2 responses to “Running from myself

  • Secret Keeper

    I know this feeling. I know it so well. I feel it too!! I’ve been thinking lately of ways to escape. I think about and entertain the silent goodbyes as well. To turn my back and never look back…it’s a dream I don’t know how to articulate but I think you know exactly what I want to say about it. I’m sorry you are feeling all the feelings of this. If you run, can I go too?

    Like

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