Photo: (mine) Hadley, MA July 17, 2018
A few nights ago I got up at around 1:30 a.m. to get a glass of water and I was heading back to bed when it hit.
I got that funny feeling. It’s called an aura, it’s a warning for the person that a seizure is imminent. Some get auras and some don’t, I do. I get it roughly 20-30 seconds before it hits.
The ineffable feeling “it” is coming. My aura feels like a feeling like something really bad is about to happen and it’s about to hit fast. Like you get the sense that you are about to die. Terror and impending doom blended together is one way to put it but there’s really no way to put it into words. I yelled out for help as loud as I could and began running for my cell phone. The whole house is sleeping and I doubt anyone will hear me scream.
My body was already going numb all over, which meant the seizure had begun I knew needed to find my cell phone fast and dial 911. My brain was having trouble remembering where I had left it. The electrical discharge in the brain which is what a seizure is, already disrupting my brains ability to think clearly. “Kitchen I thought, it’s in the Kitchen….”
I found it and managed to dial 911 and had also opened my Valium and placed one underneath my tongue when seconds after, I dropped the phone on the floor as I fell to the floor. My heart by now was racing at 300+ bpm. I was having chest pains. I could hear the 911 operator asking from the phone a few feet away, “911 what’s your emergency?” but I could not answer her. By now my entire body was numb, tingling, I was paralyzed, could not speak or swallow, and my heart was racing through my chest.
Alone on the kitchen floor I thought,” I will go into cardiac arrest and this is how I will die.”
Finally, I saw someone standing over me. My earlier yell a minute ago had been heard!!!! He put his hand over my chest and got a pulse.
Enhanced 911 called back. I began convulsing. I grayed in and out as my body shook uncontrollably. I was later told it lasted 4 minutes. It felt like time warped, it felt like so much longer.
Paramedics arrived. Try as I may, my speech was still slurred and I was still confused. “Why can’t I still swallow I wondered, it’s over?”
I had such a banging headache for 2 days straight after this seizure. I never knew seizures could cause migraines til I posted in an Epilepsy forum.
I’m pretty sure this seizure was from lack of sleep and stress. I hadn’t slept 3 days prior. Stayed up til 3 am and woke up at 7:30 am for a few days. That and being super stressed about my son. Stress, lack of sleep, as well as any amounts of caffeine are 3 big things for me that lower the seizure threshold.
I’ve had Epilepsy since I was a teen but never had a seizure generalize (convulsions) or last this long.
I feel so hammered. My brain just feels fried. There’s an electrical storm in my brain. I just wish it would blow out to sea for good.
I would love to hear from others who are living with Epilepsy and have either uncontrolled and/or break-through seizures.