One year gone

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A tangled mess of gnarly vines are wrapping around my heart choking love with every beat.

I haven’t a sword sharp enough to cut them away,

for if I did I would gladly start swinging.

This cold feeling that’s creeping in is too much to bear.

Mom, did you see me at your grave?

Three days ago it was exactly a year that God called you home.

I miss you more now than ever.

There is a hole in my heart that will never mend.

I am having trouble hearing the sound of your voice in my mind and I can’t visualize how you were when you were healthy.

Well meaning people say that it will all come back but I’m frightened.

Mom, do you miss me?

I wonder if you saw my teardrops as they feel upon the earth as I sat there in the blackness next to the cold granite stone.

I wanted you to.

I wanted to share some sort of connection with you because I can’t feel you anymore!!!

Mom, is this what’s supposed to happen?

You were always the one I turned to with questions, for advise, for comfort.  I feel so lost this past year.   As if several of my limbs are missing.

Twisting.  Contorted.  Flailing in life.

I gave some more thought about the pact we made and had an epiphany.   I was worth it but It HAS to be this way.

I’m so sorry I thought you may not have kept it.

Mom, I love you so much that it aches.

I long to put my arms around you again and hug you, to kiss your cheek and tell you I love you just one more time.

Mom, just know that I miss you, I think about you every day,  and I will always love you to  the moon and back.

Forever.

In the Aether

About Lexicon Lover


2 responses to “One year gone

Go ahead, make my day :)

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