Category Archives: Poetry

Resentment

easy to lose one’s mind in this anger

bitterness seems to know no end

for years i wanted you but

you shunned me

now you’re health is waning

let’s get one thing straight

not going to be your nurse nanny

after you made me beg for your affection

for years

while you only gave me crumbs

fuck that.

but her

oh her

you never let me forget how she was better than me

you gave her the respect that I never got

talkin’ about how she was everything I wasn’t

do you think she’ll come up in here to wipe your ass?

oh that’s right she found comfort in another man’s wallet

all that’s left, are memories of dreams unrealized

all that’s left, in me is this resentment

all that’s left, is the realization that I stayed too long

 

 

 


Judas

The distance you crossed with your pen,

word by word, line by line.

you only ever saw in me

a paper concubine

*

In despair you lifted me up,

healing words of solace

one moment you would comfort me

then you would just transgress

*

Ghost friend that never existed.

things felt strangely amiss.

actions don’t meet the words you said.

you blew a fatal kiss

*

Your prowess with the written word,

can’t match your cunning tongue

your nose pointed up in the air

you are a charlatan.

*

Flummery you speak to lost girls,

you saw me as a whore,

a dullard, just leagues beneath you

a girl you could abhor.

*

Mirrored flaws, becoming each one.

so I’d feel empathy,

then you’d slink into the shadows

used… vulnerability.

*

Gather your gold pieces in hand

pleasure reading my pain.

so unless I am mistaken

don’t, come back again.


3:47 am

The bad moon is rising

cursing me once again

hours drag past, lids weigh heavy

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

fluorescent flashes,  flickering, dancing across the wall

muffled sounds from a distant channel singing it’s muted lullaby

profound perseveration  persisting

hot-poker searing memories shroud me in a soft adrenaline blanket

knight after knight

night after night

obsessive rumination of unrelenting pain and problems

solutions drip from faucets of logic, then drain down gutters to nowhere

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

an infinite loop of

hope turning into despair

body aching, muscles contorting  becoming twisted, knotty, tangled vines

ensnaring me to the mattress

time melts, regroups, defying physics

eternity in the space of some hours

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

exhausted now, shaking, hypnogic images form in my peripheral vision

spectral apparitions, angels? demons? in the far corner of room

fear can’t restrain my pummeled body from collapse

sinking down, submitting to sleep

cognition surrenders,

until dusk falls again…

 

 

 

 


Requiem

Invisible child seen, not heard

given something to cry about.

sought your own switches

received many stitches

you’re no good, you know

Never had a “no”

~~~~~

His fast hand was

life’s quicksand

given a slipknot lifeline

a lynching of the heart

tightening each time

lies proliferated

~~~~~

Secrets oathed in darkened rooms

hiding the profane

innocence corrupted

silent rage erupted

love lies bleeding

Life is receding….

 

 

 

 

 

 


Untitled No. 1

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It’s coming for me

from the darkest recesses it can reside

stalking, creeping, looming, wanting

to devour me.

With its sinewy arms grabbing,

pulling me

into the

place of unbearable heartache.

a fountain of never-ending sorrow.

No!!!

Running faster, breathing harder.

Always need to stay ahead,

must out run this.

No time now.

Quickly! Break ground!

Dig down deep

bury it alive.

Layers of dirt.

Layers of dirty.

Silenced by vices for years.

Silenced with anything to muffle its shrieking pleas.

til’ today

I discerned its voice,

this thing that’s been chasing,

is me.

 


Limerick

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There once was a lady from Boston

whose man dipped her body in frostin’

She got way too slick

He slipped on his dick

Now sex for those two is just costin

 


Blogging: The New Prostitution

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There once was a girl from Nantucket

Who wrote her thoughts on a blog and said fuck it.

She let it all rip

and said with a quip,

“If words were a cock I would suck it.”

©   by Lexicon Lover

                             

                            ~~~~~~~~

To all my fellow bloggers out there bloglandia,  I raise my glass.


Obsession

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You slither around the folds in my cerebellum

in a cyclical motion

unceasingly,

unrelentingly,

squeezing and constricting

rational notion.

*****

Eventually you attach yourself into my thoughts,

you become one with me.

I cannot separate myself from you.

I am you, you are me.

Without you, I cannot breathe.

*****

I lose myself in fantasy…..

What if, maybe, what could be, if only.

You are both my pleasure and my pain.

A strange dichotomy.

I rarely fight you anymore these days.

What if obsession gives way to possession.


Flashback

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3…..2…..1….. 

 

heart races

stomach drops

blood runs cold

it’s happening again!

eyes shut tight

paralyzed with terror.

please not here, not now.

 

I’m teetering

400 miles up

on this tight rope

I’m walking.

no one

can hear me scream

but me. 

 

1…..2…..3……

 

don’t say a word

just breathe

in and out.

act normally

open your eyes

touch the ground

it’s not happening.

 

Ghosts look so very real.

Hard to discern

no imminent harm

in pursuit of me.

After all these years,

they still besiege me,

unexpectedly.

 

 


In plain sight

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I stand there before You,
aching for Your
love.

Your affection.

Your approval.

i can’t believe after all this time,
You’ve
never looked at me.

in my pig tails and patent leather
shoes
,
standing in the doorway
wistful and willing.

but You cannot see me.

for i am hiding behind the wallpaper
where all
little girls hide,
the ones who survived.

layers upon layers cover me
redecorated as
years pass,
yet i remain forever unchanged.

frozen in time
beneath this woman
veneer.
waiting and hoping,
will you take me home?


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