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La momma morta


Anyone who has lost their mother in death can feel beauty resonate with each note that Maria Callas sings in this aria.  Surely, anyone who believes in God can rest assured in His divine mercy.




La mamma morta.
m’hanno alla porta della stanza mia
Moriva e mi salvava!
poi a notte alta io con Bersi errava,
quando ad un tratto
un livido bagliore guizza
e rischiara innanzi a’ passi miei
la cupa via!
Bruciava il loco di mia culla!
Così fui sola!
E intorno il nulla!
Fame e miseria!
Il bisogno, il periglio!
Caddi malata,
e Bersi, buona e pura,
di sua bellezza ha fatto un mercato,
un contratto per me!
Porto sventura a chi bene mi vuole!
Fu in quel dolore
che a me venne l’amore!
Voce piena d’armonia e dice
Vivi ancora! Io son la vita!
Ne’ miei occhi è il tuo cielo!
Tu non sei sola!
Le lacrime tue io le raccolgo!
Io sto sul tuo cammino e ti sorreggo!
Sorridi e spera! Io son l’amore!
Tutto intorno è sangue e fango?
Io son divino! Io son l’oblio!
Io sono il dio che sovra il mondo
scendo da l’empireo, fa della terra un ciel! Ah!
Io son l’amore, io son l’amore, l’amore
E l’angelo si accosta, bacia,
e vi bacia la morte!
Corpo di moribonda è il corpo mio.
Prendilo dunque.
Io son già morta cosa!


My mother is dying
on the threshold of my bedroom’s door;
by her death she saved me!
Later, during the night, I was walking around with Bersi,
when suddenly
a gleam of light flashes
and brightens the dark path
in front of me!
I look!
My home was on fire!
Like this I became alone!
And around me there was nothing!
Hungry and misery!
The need, the danger!
I fell ill,
and Bersi, good and pure,
sold her beauty
to save me.
I carry misfortune to anyone who cares for me!
It was in the middle of that suffering
that love came to me!
A voice full of harmony said to me
yet live! I’m life!
In my eyes there’s your sky!
You’re not alone!
I’ll dry your tears!
I’m in your path and I help you!
Smile and wait! I’m the love!
All around you is blood and mud?
I am divine! I’m the forgotten one!
I’m the God that rules the world
I descend from the heavens and make from earth a sky! Ah!
I am love!  I am love, the love
And the angel approaches, kisses, and kisses you death!
My body is like body of a dead woman.
Then take it.
I’m already dead!


Pearls of Wisdom


“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
William W. Purkey


The Fan


Most of my adult life I’ve run a fan, even in the winter as white noise, so that I can lull myself off to sleep.   Don’t ask me where this all began.  I find it strangely comforting.  Everybody has their quirks and that is one of mine.

Seven years ago it used to drive my fiancé nuts to hear the thing humming away.  Now? He can’t sleep without it.  It seems as though I got him hooked on the appliance.  In fact, the kids both have their fans too.  My teenager likes his set on high, my pre-schooler at a whisper.

We were vacationing this past summer at the Cape and we had no fan, so I purchased a “box fan” sound from iTunes.  (Is there anything they don’t sell on there?)

Lately though, I’ve been thinking about converting back to solitude and quiet.  For whatever reason, like everything else lately, it’s starting to aggravate me.  Yup I know! Crazy right? I’m not sure if the Fab fiancé would let the fan go without a fight?   I just feel like we shouldn’t have a household full of fans blowing and humming all night through.  I need to save them from the wind vortex.

Stay tuned….

Any strange habits you’d care to share?

This one’s for you Sour Girl


From the era where people were less isolated and more connected, this one’s for u

Stone in Love – by Journey – 1981


[Verse 1]
Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth
I do recall, those were the best times, most of all
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burning love comes once in a lifetime
She found me singing by the rail road tracks
Took me home, we danced by the moonlight

Those summer nights are calling
Stone in love
Can’t help myself, I’m falling
Stone in love

[Verse 2]
Old dusty roads, led to the river
Running slow
She pulled me down, ooh, and in clover
We’d go around, yeah
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burning love comes once in a lifetime
Oh, the memories never fade away
Golden girl, I’ll keep you forever

Those summer nights are calling
Stone in love
Can’t help myself, I’m falling
Stone in love

Someone has to like this….

I’m feeling lonely as hell lately and this Chaka song has been playing over and over in my head for days..  Will someone just bond with me over this already? Just say you like it too.  I can’t be the only one that has random songs pop into my head from the 80’s.  Lol


The Few, the Proud, the Many?


It’s 4:23 am, another sleepless night.  I just finished watching  “Sister Wives.” Now I don’t know a whole lot about anything, but day-um! Those ladies are leading one drama-filled life.  Watching that show made me feel a tiny bit better about my own train wreck of a life.  Ha!  Those four wives are crazier than hell to be married to that dude.   He reeks of “self-centered-to-the-extreme.”

I can barely contain jealous feelings which at times have come up for me over my man’s ex partner(s).  How would I ever survive living in some sort commune-compound with 3 other sister wives to share a husband?  Oh Hell no!!!

There was so much drama on this show it was painful to watch.   All these wives saying that they are best friends with each other and between them there are 18 children.  It was all so bizarre.

The pimp, I mean husband Kody, seems like a real a$$hat.    Three out of the four  of the wives Janelle, Robyn, and Christine are excluding the last wife Meri from their brand of fun and Reindeer games.   I felt so bad for Meri.   I found myself wanting to talk to the TV and yell,” Run Meri!”  “You’re the only one who realizes this is screwed up!”

Now I’m not sure why polygamy isn’t legal in other states? It must have to do with something in the Bible. Why is it that  certain parts of the LDS Church are cool with polygamy? Is it for the husband to maximize the potential for assets like acquisition of land? labor? If so, why would women be down to freely enter into such an arrangement? What benefits are they getting? Do those benefits outweigh the emotional BS they have to put up with like knowing their husband is in the next house making another woman squeal?  No one can tell me that these women can be okay with sharing their husband; sexually or otherwise.

I’m trying hard not to judge this lifestyle because I do not understand and/or get it. It just seems to me like legitimized infidelity to me, for the husband.

I mean, there are tons of husbands in  America who take on numerous mistresses behind their wives back because they have chosen to be unfaithful to their marital vows.  However, most of them are not flaunting it in their wives face to cause undue emotional harm. Not that it makes it okay.  It most certainly does NOT.  But ahem, I’m scratching my head about why these women want to sign up to be part of a harem? WTF?

What do you think about polygamy or open marriages?  Do you think the people who are in them are truly happy?



Purpose of the Altar — The Devotion Cafe’

1 Kings 8:54 says, When Solomon had finished praying this entire prayer and supplication to the LORD, he arose from before the altar of the LORD, from kneeling on his knees with his hands spread toward heaven. If I asked you to tell me in your own words what does the word Altar means to […]

via Purpose of the Altar — The Devotion Cafe’

I reblogged this because it made a big impact on me.  What an amazing concept of bringing the alter right into one’s present moment!  Bringing Christ into the now and not keeping Him in some lofty spiritual place where He cannot be reached.  I would love to be able to practice this.  I could totally relate to having promised to lift someone in prayer but then forgot. Amazing post!!! Two thumbs up, way up! 

I’m giving Country Music a Second Chance


In the Aether


Thunder erupts in this living room shaking the walls, sliding furniture, rattling my bones.

covering my ears will never deafen the sound,

it doesn’t matter because I refuse to listen anymore

I am gone, yet I remain, lost in the mire.

Mom, can you hear me?

you’ve been gone almost a year

but I really need you now more than ever

you are somewhere in the aether, where celestial bodies lie.  that’s what they say anyway.

Mom, can you see me?

did you know I only see things in monochrome.  a sort of veil slipped over the world and has refused to depart.  leaving my lens a gray washed canvas.

I don’t dream anymore.

I feel dead sometimes.

Mom, do you still love me?

do you remember before you died how we made that pact, you know that one that time in your bathroom.  between just you and I.

maybe you couldn’t keep your end?

maybe I just wasn’t worth it.

Mom, if your listening, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I will love you forever.



Beauty’s only skin deep


Lizzie is beautiful, too bad society is superficial.

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