Tag Archives: addiction

Porn

 

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The mere mention of the word in certain circles is enough to stir a heated debate among some.   Hey,  it’s right up there next to fornication.

It objectifies women.   It’s addictive.   And the latest is that it’s a gateway behavior.   The last one is really the best one, you know.  ‘Cause gosh so many of my friends who have watched porn over the years are now either working in the sex and porn industry don’t cha know.

It always starts out so innocent with watching online videos, then progresses to a threesome, followed by a pole-dancing job at a strip club, and ends up with a job at Studio 20 working livestream camming…………Not.

Seriously though, while I do believe that it can be a gateway behavior for some, I believe the comparison is the same as alcoholism.  Some people have a proclivity to develop an addiction to porn.   There is a direct correlation with the amount of porn usage and the susceptibility to porn addiction and that’s what the data doesn’t say.

There is also a double standard.   If a man is caught with porn, bloody hell, he best be ready to do hand-to-hand combat with his partner and should hire a damn good defense attorney because he’ll be sleeping anywhere but their bed.   If a woman is caught watching some porn, she’s a spicy catch.   It’s like winning the lotto.  Something is wrong with the way our society views gender roles and sexuality.

If a man likes and has a lot of sex he’s considered a stud.  If  a woman likes and had a lot of sex she’s considered a whore.  What?!!!!!

Sexuality has always been taboo here in the U.S. ever since the Puritans stepped off the boat in 1630.   The fact is there is nothing wrong with our bodies.  They are the greatest instrument we will ever own.

Whatever your opinion is on porn, one thing is for sure, this 97 billion dollar industry isn’t going away any time soon.  I for one am glad about this fact, because on occasion,  I enjoy watching some porn.

#LoveMyself

 

 

 


Minecrack

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So often times when you are trying to get rid of one addiction, you need to find a healthier substitute to fill that empty space.

I’ve found something which helps me to distract my mental obsession with the food porn, which is everywhere.   It’s like a hamster that runs around on a little wheel in my head.

My defense against the food addict hamster on its wheel,  is Minecraft.

It started out over two weeks ago, I hopped on the PS4 and it’s now gained traction to where it’s now becoming dare I say another thing that I binge on.

I’ve built a penthouse, with a pool, an underground bunker with built-ins for all my chests for my “mined” ore, a nether portal, and use my map to explore all kinds of biomes.  I’m rocking this tween game like a boss.

It’s so addictive, it should be called Minecrack.  Mojang is making a killing.  But hey, as long as I’m staying on the straight and narrow it’s all good.

I’m pretty sure I have a highly addictive personality.  Ahem….

Gotta run now, back to the mines.

 

 


Addiction

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Photo:  my rosary beads 

Anyone who has ever struggled with addiction knows all too well the viscous cycle of it all.

Every fiber of you craves the thing to which you are addicted.   Your brain tells you quietly that it will kill you, yet the voice of the addiction is louder yelling at you to give in.

Every attempt to stop leaves you  struggling in a brutal tug of war.  The internal voice is always telling you to give in:

“You know you will feel better if you do it” 

“You deserve a break.”

”You know it’s gonna be so good…”

There’s a seductive quality to addiction.  I believe that there is perhaps an evil force which belies the whole process.   Trying to ensnare victims back in.

If for some reason you give in and relapse, you tell yourself:

”Its okay, you can just start over tomorrow,” as a way to assuage your guilt.

If you manage to to relapse in the middle of a week, you tell yourself,

”its okay, you can make a fresh start on Monday.”

Then you get so deep into it, you start telling yourself stuff like,”I’ll start over next month.”  

Then comes the realization when you can’t stop after a whole month after really trying several times, “I just haven’t  tried hard enough or I have to work up to it and get into the recovery mindset.”

Then after total agonizing defeat, still a persistent denial busts in that,”I could quit if I want to, I just don’t want to right now, I like what I am doing.” 

What the fuck?!

Did I just hear my thoughts right.  Yup.  I could quit if I want to but I don’t want to?  Buddy, my ass has been done whooped by this addiction but not I’m “ready?”  That’s precious.

I think only a true addict can indentify with these insane thoughts.

I’ve been living with addiction and relapse for a decade at least.  I’m in this shit up to my eye balls.

It occurred to me today That the one huge part I’ve been leaving out of the mix is steps 1, 2, and 3.  Ha!

It’s always white knuckling.  Who wants to admit defeat? Be powerless, And then surrender?  Not a lot signing up for that shit.  We do it because we get sick and tired of being of being sick and tired.

Time to get on my knees again and ask for God’s help.

 

 

 


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