Tag Archives: anguish

Judas

The distance you crossed with your pen,

word by word, line by line.

you only ever saw in me

a paper concubine

*

In despair you lifted me up,

healing words of solace

one moment you would comfort me

then you would just transgress

*

Ghost friend that never existed.

things felt strangely amiss.

actions don’t meet the words you said.

you blew a fatal kiss

*

Your prowess with the written word,

can’t match your cunning tongue

your nose pointed up in the air

you are a charlatan.

*

Flummery you speak to lost girls,

you saw me as a whore,

a dullard, just leagues beneath you

a girl you could abhor.

*

Mirrored flaws, becoming each one.

so I’d feel empathy,

then you’d slink into the shadows

used… vulnerability.

*

Gather your gold pieces in hand

pleasure reading my pain.

so unless I am mistaken

don’t, come back again.


3:47 am

The bad moon is rising

cursing me once again

hours drag past, lids weigh heavy

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

fluorescent flashes,  flickering, dancing across the wall

muffled sounds from a distant channel singing it’s muted lullaby

profound perseveration  persisting

hot-poker searing memories shroud me in a soft adrenaline blanket

knight after knight

night after night

obsessive rumination of unrelenting pain and problems

solutions drip from faucets of logic, then drain down gutters to nowhere

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

an infinite loop of

hope turning into despair

body aching, muscles contorting  becoming twisted, knotty, tangled vines

ensnaring me to the mattress

time melts, regroups, defying physics

eternity in the space of some hours

tik tock goes the pendulum clock

exhausted now, shaking, hypnogic images form in my peripheral vision

spectral apparitions, angels? demons? in the far corner of room

fear can’t restrain my pummeled body from collapse

sinking down, submitting to sleep

cognition surrenders,

until dusk falls again…

 

 

 

 


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