Can you believe he returned out of the abyss of how many months having passed…..November?
Sending me an email asking how I am doing.
I don’t know why I am shocked, but I am.
Attached with said email was a beautiful song:it was quite beautiful actually.
I think I should dub him the “disappearing man.”
He spoke of existential angst over spending most of his life alone and fear of his mortality.
I wrote back and let him know that his disappearing act and inability to deal with fallout
from discord from his disappearances is a good bet why his has spent most of his life alone.
surprise surprise, he didn’t write back.
On another note “B” left.
After promising not to leave.
After promising not to yell.
After promising he would “never do anything to hurt me.”
Too many promises broken in such a short amount of time should have been a giant red flag right there.
Too many promises broken period.
He told me when he met me, “my word is my bond.”
Then when he has repeatedly broke his word he said, “yes I did, but you had antagonized me and pissed me off.”
apparently for some, it only turns out that people only keep their word under certain emotional conditions.
wish I was aware of that little caveat
I don’t know who is worse, me for telling my life story in the first five minutes to a man who doesn’t deserve the trust.
or this man who tells me he loves me and won’t hurt me in the first five minutes after hearing it.
But let’s not thump on poor B shall we. I am no prize package. I am insecure, clingy, hide my low self-self esteem behind a well practiced false bravado. My moods swing like a monkey on a chandelier when I don’t get enough sleep. I should probably just join a monastic sect somewhere, and live Lord of the Flies style, free of the trappings of society with my dildo.
the problem is, the trees don’t hug you back on the island……