You slither around the folds in my cerebellum
in a cyclical motion
squeezing and constricting
Eventually you attach yourself into my thoughts,
you become one with me.
I cannot separate myself from you.
I am you, you are me.
Without you, I cannot breathe.
I lose myself in fantasy…..
What if, maybe, what could be, if only.
You are both my pleasure and my pain.
A strange dichotomy.
I rarely fight you anymore these days.
What if obsession gives way to possession.
I hurt myself today- to see if I still feel- I focus on the pain- the only thing that’s real- the needle tears a hole- the old familiar sting- try to kill it all away- but I remember everything- what have I become? my sweetest friend- everyone I know goes away in the end- and you could have it all- my empire of dirt-
I will let you down I will make you hurt.
I wear this crown of thorns- upon my liar’s chair- full of broken thoughts- I cannot repair- beneath the stains of time- the feelings disappear- you are someone else- I am still right here-
what have I become? my sweetest friend- everyone I know goes away- in the end- and you could have it all- my empire of dirt
I will let you down- I will make you hurt
if I could start again- a million miles away- I would keep myself- I would find a way.
Johnny Cash- Hurt
I hurt myself today.
not by the Man in Black’s needle.
a different means;
the pain is no different, no less destructive.
Everyone I care about seems to go away in the end.
I hurt myself, again……