It’s a difficult decision whether or not to file for bankruptcy. Particularly in business. When you have invested so much sweat equity, borrowed on margin at times, and given your last dime to see the thing through.
There comes a time though, when there simply is no return on your investment and you’re in the red. It’s time to realize it’s gone belly up. Time for Chapter 11.
So too, a relationship can go the same way. You read the self-help books, voiced your concerns, arguments happened, distance occurred . You moved to going to individual therapy, you voiced your concerns, arguments still happened, more distance occurred. You did the couples counseling gig, the proverbial shit really hit the fan, distance? no…. now there was just resentment and lots of it.
No one wants to lose such a long-term investment. But when it becomes a daily dose of vitriol an untenable battlefield emerges, it becomes a veritable toxic environment. It has become a relationship on life-support.
I find myself in such a position. My logical brain tells me it’s way past the time to let go and move on and yet my emotions make me second guess my decision.
It’s tearing me up inside and I’ve become physically ill and worn thin. I can’t sleep anymore, I’m anxious most of the time, I don’t feel joy. All of this has been ongoing, while I was trying to my bury my mum, who was my best friend, my touch stone.
I rather feel like a gutted fish about now. The one person who I could always turn to for direction, is with God. Wherever that is. I just wish they had WordPress there, so she could could read this and write me back a reply with what to do with my crazy pain-filled shit-show of a life. She always seemed to know just what to say, from the sage advise to a self-effacing comment to keep me going. She was always my North Star, I just never thought she’d be up in the sky. ⭐️