I was watching an old interview with Manson in prison where he was singing. It was more rare footage. I have to say that is charismatic, enigmatic, energetic, articulate, intelligent, artistic, and philosophical. He possesses just about every quality that captivates me. He has a pretty good voice too. There is this way he drew me in even watching him on the TV screen. Hell, I was enjoying watching him how fucked up is that? He is supposed to be a villain. A devil. Evil incarnate….
I can see how a girl of 19 could have been easy prey for him. Not even 5 minutes into watching the interview I was so engaged and taken by his charm I had almost forgotten that he was responsible for the murderous rampage of the Sharon Tate and her unborn baby. Which made me shudder.
But then I ponder….. just as sociopaths find their prey in a crowd, seeking out the weak ones. The reciprocal must also be true. Prey seemingly seek out their predators……sometimes consciously, sometimes not.
It would explain so much of why I’ve ended up with the men I’ve been with in my lifetime.
Nothing happens by chance, especially not when it happens repeatedly. That is why it is called a pattern of behavior.
I left out the “”About You” section about me here blank. It feels too much like a personal ad, and that triggers me too much.
The last time I put a personal ad out online it was a fucking disaster. I ended up with a reply from one man who referred to me in the third person. “I need me a female between the age of 19 and 25 and require it to be 5′ 5″ and 120 pounds.”
Oh I’m sorry. Did you just say “it” you sick son-of-fa-bitch? Because I’m going to wager that the last time you saw a ‘female’ was the storm of 78′. Yeah remember? as you dragged her dead corpse behind your oversized-duel exhaust jacked-up truck with that long metal chain after you chloroformed her and clunked her about her head with a crow bar? back to your rural farm of horrors for a night of good ol’ Square dancing and necrophilia fun.
Mmmmmm, yeah….does that ring a bell now?
Men who refer to women as “it” and “female” as if they are specimens scare me. There is a level of objectification that is just downright frightening.
Almost as scary was the reply I got from a man living in his mom’s basement. No, he was in his 40’s and wasn’t down on his luck, he had never left…..like ever. Very Norman Bates-esque. Any man who feels comfortable banging his date while his mom listens to her squeal like a pig…..well, the cogs just aren’t firing right upstairs. Just saying. A little too close to home I’m thinkin, in a cousins with dozens sort of way. (shivers).
I always thought the perfect man was Fred Rogers. He was my hero. You know Mr. Rogers Neighborhood? I go to an Al-anon meeting with a woman who knew him and she said he was just as nice in person as he was on the show. When I was small he was a bright spot on my otherwise sometimes dark childhood. I felt as if he truly cared, for me.
I cried for a long time when he died.
*Raises glass to Mr.Rogers*